Being a customer is like being part of an exclusive club, but without the secret handshake or the mandatory awkward small talk. I mean, think about it: I have the power to buy anything I want (as long as my pocket and my credit card allows it, which, let’s be honest, sometimes feels like a very thin line of power). Every time I swipe or tap, I get a little rush, like I’ve just made a major life decision. Want a coffee at 2 AM? Done. Need a dog sweater for a cat? Absolutely. Being a customer means I live in a world of endless possibilities, and my cart is always full of things I never knew I needed.

It’s also pretty impressive that I can be loyal to a brand without ever actually meeting them. I’m here, supporting businesses with my heart, my wallet, and my email inbox full of “special offers” that somehow always end up in my spam folder. I’ve perfected the art of making purchases with zero actual thought. Add to cart? Click. Buy now? Click. Return if it doesn’t fit? Maybe, but let’s be real, that’s an extra step I usually avoid.

So yeah, I’m proud to be a customer. It’s a high-stakes role that requires careful navigation of “free shipping” deals, questionable impulse buys, and the thrill of receiving packages from people I’ve never met.